Valentine's Day

Today has been a long, long day, with both ups and downs.

Early this morning I went to the eye doctor for my pink eye issues. After much poking and prodding (including numbing my eyes so they could poke them with a sharp little stick-shaped thing... fun stuff), the doctor (who I like, which is a very important thing for me) confirmed what I had already guessed: I have not been having recurring pink eye. Instead, I have three different issues affecting me. The first is blepharitis, a chronic condition that normally affects the elderly and can lead to infections and other eye issues. I was prescribed a treatment that I now get to do for the rest of my life. I was also told that I was at a very high risk of developing pigment dispersion syndrome, a condition in which the pigment at the back of the eyes sloughs off and comes to the front of the eyes, blocking glands, etc, and putting a person at a decently high risk of developing glaucoma. My eyes are already doing this, but not at a high enough level to be considered pigment dispersion syndrome yet. Regardless, I now have to see the eye doctor biannually until I reach middle age, or 4+ times a year if I develop the syndrome. Lastly was the issue that originally brought me to see the doctor: the pink eyes. Apparently, my eyes have decided to recognize my contact lens as foreign bodies and are rejecting them, leading to eyelid bumps and a whole host of other irritation issues. I've been barred from wearing contact lens until March 7th (ironically, my two-year anniversary with Nate), at which point I will go back to the eye doctor and be reevaluated. I'll either be told to wait longer, or will be cleared to get re-fitted for a new brand of contact lens. Depending on how my eyes handle those contact lens, I will either be allowed to wear contact lens daily, or will be told that I'm no longer able to wear lenses. If the latter is the case... well, I'm going to see if I can get laser eye surgery, because having glasses is simply too much of a liability given my current job and future career.

For whatever reason, all of that news didn't really affect me that much. You'd think I'd be more upset, but I honestly wasn't. It's such a small issue in the large scheme of things.

I also found myself reflecting on what God is trying to teach me. It's the same thing I think He's been trying to teach me all along: to love myself for who I am. I don't need to live up to other peoples' expectations or feel less pretty because I'm wearing glasses and feel looked down upon like I was when I was younger. I am His creation, and He made me the way I am for a reason... eye issues and all. Also, my eye issues are small in the scheme of life. What seems incredibly important should not affect other aspects of my life, because God is in control. Whatever happens is for the best, as it's His will. That provides an amazing amount of security in my life -- I am alive today solely because of God. All of the odds were against me, but still He chose to have me come into the world, and to keep both Nate and me safe through the car accident that should have killed us. I firmly believe that there's a reason for that.

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I did a small amount of shopping after the appointment. Found an excellent shirt that I can't wait to wear as well as a few other miscellaneous items. Probably spent a bit more money than I should have, but they were all items I needed.

Once I get my next paycheck, I'm going to see if Kelli wants to go to Aphrodite's with me. It's time for me to replace my comfy bras. More money spent, but after that, I should be good for a while!

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I love my boyfriend. He tricked me!!! For Valentine's Day, he told me to come over to his house at exactly 6:30. I wondered what was going on, and guessed that he might be making food. When I arrived, he was rushing around talking about how he was running late and asked me to check freeway traffic, etc, etc. Then he surprised me with a candlelit dinner in the kitchen! I was so surprised... he made me believe we were going out!!!

It was a very tasty dinner, too. Steak and mashed potatoes and rolls and a very, very amazing dessert! I had a HUGE food baby.

He also gave me a very touching speech about how much he loved me. I was pretty much holding back tears. At one point it almost sounded like he was almost about to propose, but literally in the same millisecond I realized that both of us would find such a thing very, very tacky... we're not a couple for convention. But it definitely showed me that he is going to have the most amazing speech ever when he does propose. And I will probably cry. :-P

After dinner we got to spend some quality time together, which was wonderful. It's something I've missed a lot, and that always makes me feel much closer to him.

I can't wait until I get to spend every day with him. I miss him so much when I'm gone....