The Checklist

I had a whole rant prepared regarding a person who recently got upset with my behavior, but luckily I came to my senses regarding it. I have a crucial little checklist that I routinely force myself to go through before doing anything regarding a situation, if I sense that I am in the least bit upset about something. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is that list.

It's kind of silly, but it works. I have avoided a TON of issues with people by using this list. It's also taught me to more easily recognize when I am compromised or responding inappropriately.

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I am torn between deciding what to do, though. I have two choices that I believe are reasonable: a) Ignore what happened, because as the situation currently stands, I do not need to respond; or b) Say something along the lines of "I noticed [that you did this]. I understand that you are upset about [issue], and I wanted to let you know that I am working on it. I also wanted to apologize for [what caused the issue] and tell you that I will make changes in [behavior regarding the issue]. In the future, however, I would like to request that you do not [do what you did], but instead talk to me about [the issue]. Communication is important to me, and I think we will get along much better if we don't [do what we did]." -- Bite the bullet, so to speak. (Oh, the difficulties with my own pride that I encounter no matter my choice!)

I'm drawn towards Choice A, because I know myself well enough to realize that I will probably become defensive if I choose Choice B, which only makes situations worse. But at the same time, I don't like ignoring issues.

What I do know that I won't do is respond in a throughly snarky way, like I almost did. I knew by the time I got to #2 that my initial reaction was wrong. By the time I got to #5, I was thoroughly convinced to keep my mouth shut. Tempted to speak out anyhow, but able to resist.

I can keep my annoyance to myself! I can respond appropriately!

God bless the checklist.